Saturday, February 26, 2005
Drained out and exhausted. Two words to describe how I feel at the moment. I am exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. Ya Allah, what a week.. let alone a month.
*Sigh.. Lots of things have been happening. Things that you want to happen and things that just pop out of nowhere with no warning. Sometimes things happen so unexpectedly that you are exhausted by the end of the day.
Work is one thing but mental and emotional exhaustion is worst, believe me. You are so exhausted that no emotion is left inside. You feel so empty it hurts like hell. Ironic isnt it?
Where are your friends when you really need them? Sometimes I just sit on my bed with nothing to do and think to myself. And one way or another I end up in tears. God I miss my friends.
Right now I just need a hug.. Please someone give me one.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Seandainya telah Kau catatkan
Dia milikku, tercipta untuk diriku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Ya Allah, ku mohon
Apa yang telah Kau takdirkan
Ku harap dia adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau tahu segala isi hatiku
Pelihara daku dari kemurkaan Mu
Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Pemurah
Beri kekuatan jua harapan
Membina diri yang lesu tak bermaya
Semaikan setulus kasih di jiwa
Ku pasrah kepadaMu
Pasangan yang beriman
Bisa menemani aku
Supaya ku dan dia
Dapat melayar bahtera
Ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai
Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Pengasih
Engkau sahaja pemeliharaku
Dengarkan rintihan hambaMu ini
Jangan Engkau biarkan ku sendiri
Agarku bisa bahagia
Walau tanpa bersamanya
Gantikanlah yang hilang
Tumbuhkan yang telah patah
Ku inginkan bahagia
Di dunia dan akhirat
PadaMu Tuhan ku mohon segala..
Amin Ya Rabbul Alamin
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Aduhai Puteriku Sayang..
Lembut mu tak bererti
Kau mudah dijual beli
Kau mampu menyaingi lelaki dalam berbakti
Lembut bukan hiasan
Bukan jua kebanggaan
Tapi kau sayap kiri pada suami yang sejati
Disebalik bersih wajahmu
Disebalik tabir dirimu
Ada rahsia agung tersembunyi dalam diri
Itulah sekeping hati
Yang takut pada Ilahi
Berpegang pada janji mengabdikan diri
Malu mu mahkota yang tidak perlukan singgahsana
Tapi ia berkuasa menjaga diri dan nama
Tiada siapa yang akan boleh merampasnya
Melainkan kau sendiri yang pergi menyerah diri
Ketegasan mu umpama benteng negara dan agama
Dari dirobohkan dan jua dari dibinasakannya
Wahai puteriku sayang kau bunga terpelihara
Mahligai Syurga itulah tempatnya..
In sem4, we all learned English Communication Strategies and people are divided into three categories; The Aggressive type, The Assertive type and the Submissive type. So which is which? hehe.. truthfully, Ju is the aggressive one, I'm the assertive one and Fad was always the submissive one. A combination of friends with three different personalities. Yet, we are still the best of friends =).
Why am I bringing up this issue anyway? Hahha.. well, becoz the other day Kak Dayah said something like "padanlah ayah kata mira ni aggressive orangnya". I was so shocked. Ayah said I'm aggressive? hahahahha..
When I asked mak about this, she said "maksudnye you have a mind of your own.." OooOooOoo.. so that was what ayah meant.. I have a mind of my own. If so, then ayah is very true.
I do have a mind of my own. And hardly anyone can change that except me. =)
Assertive. That's the right use of word. I don't demand for something, I ask politely but with a little force. hehe.. that's my way. When I was the Editor in Chief of the UNIKL IIM Student Bulletin, I never demanded people's work on time, I convey it to them in a sweet yet effective way ;).. wanna learn how? hehe.. come ask me urself..
Anyhow.. this is who I am.
Amirah, The Princess of her own Realm =)
I'd rather be called with a name that has meaning. And mira does have a meaning u know. Shocked? hahaha, it truely does.
But I have always been the person with lots of nicknames. During my school days, a few of my classmates called me "amie" others would call me "mie". The juniours would call me "kakmie" but never mira. But when I went to study in UNIKL, they all called me mira. Some of the boys called me mirah. Weird aint it?
Pn Cordelia from UNIKL calls me myra. I have no idea why. Sometimes Ms Put calls me that too. Its cute and unique, I know.. =)
My siblings call me kakngah but my parents call me Amirah.
So you can imagine how confusing it is when I adress myself to these people. Kejap mira, kejap Amirah, kejap kakngah.. hahaha..
I just cant imagine how it'd be like if they were all gathered under one building. Fuh!
But hey, don't get me wrong.. I'm not complaining. You can call me all of the above. Be my guest =)
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Yesterday was great. Since all the lecturers had to work as preparations for the ISO inspection nextweek, I was granted the pleasure of seeing everyone of them. They we're busy, mind you. With the whole staff room being in a hectic condition. I've never seen IIM that way before. All messy and hectic. ahahha.. When I went into the staffroom, everyone was surprised to see me. Of course la, it was a saturday and I was supposed to be in JB. Ehehhe, I loved Ms Adott's reaction.. "Eh, miraaaaaaaaa.." =)
The reason I came to IIM for the short visit was to see Ms Put. I havent seen her for such a long time, and I missed her hugs. I already knew there was an ALUMNI gathering that day, but I already told everyone I wasnt coming. But surprise, surprise.. there I was, out of the blue. Anyway, for Ms Put's sake, I'd do anything. =)
I just felt briliant that day. A wonderful step to a brighter future. I also had the pleasure of seeing my group of young SRC. Never thought they'd be there. I also found out that, diorg baru je sebut2 my name. Terharunya.. People do remember me.
Hmm.. who did I get to see yesterday, lets see.. Ms Put, Kakyong, Ms Sam, Ms Adott, Ms Gibb, Pn Yati, Ms Shima, Pn Fad, Pn Sayani, Pn Ai, Pn Faridah, Pn Su..etc, AbgZul, Kak Zan, Kak Tun, Kak Ijan, En Kasman. KakPut, KakDiela, Kak Has, Abg Eddy, Kak Farhana (by the way, she's taller than me, can u imagine that?), Kak Zai, Kirien, Fai, Syafiq, Iwan, Tommy, Megat, Izani, Nana. Did I forget anyone? That's all the people I know la, the others are just seniours and super++ seniours that I dont know. Ade yang bawak anak2 lagi. Ehehe.. I also got the chance to hold this really cute baby.. YaAllah, comel sgt.
I didnt actually attend the gathering, just stopped by to help out with a few things. It was still fun. Pity I had to go home so soon. Had a real talk with my juniours. Seems like they're having trouble. Hmm.. Hope they'll learn from their mistakes. Just give me a call if you need any advice okey? =) InsyaAllah I'll always be there for you.
Yesterday was great. Right now I feel inspired, briliant and just amused. Thank you everyone for making me feel so welcome. Love ya all to bits. Going to start missing everyone all over again.. sob..sob.. =)
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Anyway, what I realised is how much a simple smile and a simple hello can do wonders to people. Today is the day I finally understand by what people have been saying all along to me. "Smiling is the best and simplest sedekah you can ever give to someone"
I've always believed that everyday should begin with a smile. No matter how hard it is to get yourself out of bed, no matter how horrible you feel inside. You should smile and thank Allah for letting you live on.
I used to be a real grumpy person. Ask Aliya, she knows.. she called me her "garang Amirah" remember? ehe.. anyway, I learnt the true meaning behind smiling. It really can do wonders. Makes u calm and feel good about yourself when you realise how much your smile means to someone.
I have juniours saying that the thing they like most about me is my smile. And seniours saying they like my company coz I love to smile sincerely. Hey, what can I say? Cant blame me for feeling good about myself right? =)
Its really hard to see me not smiling u know. There was once when I didnt get enough sleep.. biase la, student MM assignment banyak, mane cukup tido.. ehe.. and I was grumpy alrite. Didnt smile all day. And every person that I passed would look at me funny. Why? Becoz usually I'd smile at them. The people who cared enough kept asking if something was wrong. ahahhaha.. still fresh in my mind how hard I laughed each time someone asked me if something was wrong. Goes to show how much a simple smile really means.
The most important thing in a smile is sincerity. People always see a fake one. Remember that.
I always try to smile eventhough inside I dont feel like smiling. Hey, why should you dampen other people's day just by being grumpy? Think about others before yourself. Smile for crying out loud! =)
As I keep saying, and never get tired of saying.. "Smile, for it can brighten a day of a million people"
p/s: cuba kira how many times I mentioned the word smile.. ehe =)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Kerana dicalari cinta penuh duri
Lemas aku dalam dilema
Kata janji manis sungguh tak bermakna
Mencarimu kasih bagai mencari mutiara putih
Walau ke dasar lautan sanggup ku selami
Namun tak percaya apa yang telah aku terjumpa
Kau sebutir pasir tak berharga
Demi cinta yang suci
Ku rela korbankan kepentingan diri
Demi sinar bahagia
Ku hambakan diri pada-Nya yang Esa
Baru kini ku rasai nikmatnya cinta yang suci
Tiada terbanding dengan cinta yang kau beri
Ranjau yang berduri akan aku tabah menempuhnya
Menyubur Iman di dalam jiwa
Demi cinta yang suci
Demi cinta Hakiki
Ku sanggup redahi apa yang terjadi
Apalah erti cinta suci
Andai kata-kata sering dimungkiri
Apalah erti cinta murni
Andai kata-kata sering didustai
Monday, February 14, 2005
Nothing interesting really to report from the office. Some days are cool, fun and exciting. Others are just plain miserable. Why? Coz I don’t have anything to do. It’s hard to explain the mood in the office. Depends on the mood of the staff actually. Kalau diorg tgh ceria, then working would be ceria too.
I never did explain the atmosphere here. Well, I have my very own cubicle, which I might add is just temporary.. but till this day is still mine. Hmm.. wonder when I’ll be transferring offices. Anyhow, I’m practically in the same office building as ayah. There are two offices, I’m in the office pentadbiran. Maybe they placed me here to keep an eye on me. Hahahaha.. Yeah, same office as ayah, but we rarely see each other anyway. He’s not usually in the office and even if we bump into each other, buat2 mcm tak kenal.. hehe..
My cubicle is the first cubicle you’d reach if you enter the main door. So, I’ll be the first person anyone ever sees.. and the first person anyone asks questions to as well. Fuh, its real tiring answering questions. Sometimes diorg nih salah office in the first place.
My cubicle consists of all the stationary you can have, a PC which is really slow, and lots and lots of files which I don’t need. Hahha.. the PC in my cubicle is the old version one, terrible btul.. no I mean, lambat btul. So they gave me a laptop for me to do my work. I only use the PC for internet usage. Oh yeah, forgot to mention.. endless internet connection too. =D
My supervisor isn’t really that friendly. I just found out that the other staffs don’t like her too. (And I thought I was the only one..) Talk about coincidence. In the cubicle beside me is a friendly mother of three – kak roha. She is so funny, I always laugh at her many stories. One week I came here and she practically told me all the gossips of the office. Hahaha.. anak boss or not, she doesn’t see me as a threat. The really out going and open minded type I assure you.
The other staff members in the administration office is Kak Fyda, Kak Dayah, Kak Rose, Kak Zac, Pak Lah and Zaidi. All very friendly people. Pak Lah is sort of my immediate supervisor when it comes to publication and designing work, but he doesn’t act like one. Die nih suka sgt sakat org. Cerita ntah pape.. always making everyone laugh. Kak Fyda is a cute, petit and pleasant person. She’s ayah’s PA (Personal Assistant). I love hearing her talk about her family and her experiences.
Kak Dayah is the reserved type. Really hard to see her smile. I mean the sincere smile. Heheh.. but I’ve broken the ice with her. She’s nice once you get to know her. I think she needs to be comfortable with you before she trusts you. Kak Rose, a wise mother and worker. I don’t know how long she’s been working here. She’s the dean’s PA. As I know, she’s the only one yang tak takut ngan dekan yang garang tuh. Fuh. I wonder how she does it.
Kak Zac, pegawai intellectual property. Kak Zac nih kadang2 okey, kadang2 tak. Hehe.. its quite hard to explain. Hmm.. She’s fun when she’s in a good mood. Comical is the word. But die nih very sensitive. Its tough kalau die merajok. Glad I’ve never had that experience with her before.
Who else? In the other office building, what the people call the "bahagian project" office, I know a few staffs as well. Kak Faezah, Kak Fuza, Kak Ija, Kak Lili, Kak Linda, Kak Hani, Kak Noor, Abg Lan, Kak Izra and Kak Zareen. Wah, takkan nak cite pasal semua? =)
Anyhow, Abg Lan tuh reminds me of a juniour in IIM. Everytime he sees me he’ll say "Miraaaaa.." Hahaahah..
Basically, I’m having lots of fun here in RMC. Hope I’ll be learning a lot of things from this experience. I’ve met all sorts of people, from really annoying bosses, to down right sociable workers.
Love ‘em all =)
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Let me introduce everyone of them =)
Monday, February 07, 2005
On Friday I arrived around 330 and straight away went to IIM. I wasn’t planning to go there, but something came up so I went anyway. I met up with all my dearest lecturers. Pn Lily, Pn Yati, Ms Tatty, Ms Sam, Mrs G, Ust Sazali. It was weird walking along the corridor and people recognizing you, but giving you a weird look (as if asking "what are you doing here?") hahaha..
Two people jerit when they saw me. Ocha and Abg zul. Hahahha.. I didnt tell anyone i was coming so they did actually get the shock of their lives. I also got a lot of hugs. But girls only ok. =)
I went to see darling Kakyong and Ms Sam. As I sat in the lecturers room, it finally came to me how I missed those times when we used to just talk and gossip. Well, not gossip really, just long memorable talks. As we talked, I found myself feeling all gooey inside seeing how much care and support the lecturers give their students. They don’t just teach us, they actually care for us as if we are their children or sister. Its just miraculous how beautiful a relationship can become and how close people can get.
I left IIM with a heavy heart. I know I just wished things haven’t changed over there, but people always change. Lots of new things have been happening. The rules are more lenient, but the thing I envy most is they’ve upgraded the computer labs. All new computers, flat screens, whatever the latest Pentiums. Jealousnye..
Saturday I had to go for the meeting. It was kinda fun. But most likely all the others will label me as "poyo" coz I talked a lot. Goes to show how much I miss going to meetings and giving out my opinions. I am also forever grateful for being in IIM coz rupanye, IIM je la yang tak byk problem compared to the others. Well, its not surprising. IIM is the oldest and most matured institute among the others. Hahaha.. But a word to Arif. You broke ur promise. You DID NOT come to the meeting as u said u would. You just wait and see what I’ll do to u if we get the unfortunate chance to meet. I hate people who break promises.
The meeting was formal and all. But as I looked at the other representatives from other branches, how they talk and complain.. my conclusion is, diorg ni manja tahap maximum! What I mean is that since kitorg punye branch ni dah lama, we know how the procedures of the management are. We’ve been thru lots of experience and we’ve learned to be patient. Change does need time. But yang lain ni.. ya Allah.. macam tak reti nak sabar. Tak dpt bende sikit, nak fight. I was so pissed off with their little stupid comments that I told this boy off for being so immature and ignorant. We’ve certainly learned a lot from studying at IIM. Matured to be exact. Terrible la. I kept giving out my opinion until setiap kali semua org nak buat decision, they would always look at me for back up. Kalau mira tak setuju, they’ll change the entire thing. I hope they learned their lesson. Hahahha..
After the meeting, which ended nearly one hour late, I met up with Ocha. Wah.. She’s such a wonderful friend. We talked all day long and waited for Kakaput and Kak Diela. It was really pleasurable and calming. Like I said, we talked all day long. I slept as Ocha’s house that nite.
Sunday. The dreaded day I have to go take the journey back home to lonely-friendless-JB. I met up with Ju, Alan, Alif and Uda. Ocha tagged along. Again, we all just talked. Girls will always be girls =). They were there when I had to board the train. This is the first time they sent me off. I’ve never had the experience before and it was just sad. I hugged them so hard. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to see them again. Sob.. sob.. Like I said, I am the emotional kinda person. Hehe..
Some of the places I went were full of memories, every corner, every seat, every space. Every where I looked, they’ll always be something to remember either sweet or unpleasant. Well.. life is like that. But it is ironic that the place which holds so much beautiful memories can become the most hateful one because of a single bad one. Oh well..
Summarizing everything that happened in KL, it was wonderful. I’ll just leave it at that.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
All important documents are already in my hands, just waiting for the time I have to speak up during the meeting.. this is fun! Hahaha.. Havent felt this excited in a long time. Ever had the wonderful feeling of being important and dependable?
At last I’ll be able to catch up with my dearest friends. I’m planning to hang out with Ocha, Ju and Kakaput. Wah.. Can’t wait. I miss them so much. Really miss the laughter. Its too bad Ms Put isn’t gonna be in KL for this weekend. I so much want to see her. She called me the other day about telling me about this meeting I have to go. And when I heard about her stress and work load, I don’t pity myself anymore. Compared to her, my schedule is really in a relaxed mode. Fuh.. Kesian die. Wish I could try and help her out.
Anyway, tomorrow morning I’ll be off on the earliest train to KL. Taking one day off work for the journey itself. Haha.. how fun.
Seems that nothing has changed that much since I left UNIKL for my practical semester. I hope not. =)
Going back to KL will be an exciting and hopefully a wonderful time for me. It will also somehow be painful in a way. It’ll be a step towards a better and brighter future for me. InsyaAllah.