Friday, June 30, 2006

Dreading my results!

Results are out!

The same sentence everyone keeps asking me..
"Camne results? Ni mesti gempak ni"

Hmm.. I wish.

I wish it were "gempak" as everyone keeps saying. Oh, how I wish it.

But well, I expected it anyway. Like I said, I've been making stupid sacrifices last semester which are now like spit to me right now. I'm certainly paying for it now.

My gpa jatuh. A lot. From 4.00 to 3.87. A big difference in my book. Its a good thing my cgpa is okey. Since I got 4.0 last semester, my cgpa is now 3.93. Which is okey I guess.

Hmm.. Last semester was a waste. I skipped lots of classes, and I barely studied for the exams. But here's the bright side, if this results are due bcoz I didnt study, just imagine the results I'll be getting if I actually did study! Hehhe..

I've been too busy to put 100% in my studies. Now, since due to my promise to myself, I'll be putting more than 100%. Just wait and see! =)

Learning to let go

“You have to learn to let go”

Those were the words that made me think. Words that were voiced out by Ms Jann

Remember the post where I said that I'm in a dilema about this post thingy? Well, I'm not anymore. Ms Jann finally straightened me out. She's right you know. I really NEED to learn to let go.

I've been in this Student Council business far too long. 3 years mann! Whoever can survive more than that is certainly a robot. The first year was great, I held the Asst. Secretary post. Which was quite tough actually. But it was fun. When I was re-elected for another higher post the year after that, from secretary to Vice President, it became somewhat of a challenge. A challenge for me to be someone better, to make a difference, to do something and bring impact. It was fun too.

But then came the 3rd year. Re-elected again, with the same post (no one wants a lady president mind you ^_^) It was indeed an honour, but unfortunately the fun of it ran out. I was drained, I was tired, exhausted and just plain worn out.

I didnt really want this post. I didnt want to become Vice President again. Although this was with another bunch of new faces, I've been thru too much already to go thru it again. Why did I still take the post? Because of our beloved Ms Puteri. I owed her something. I owed her this. That was the soul purpose of it. If it wasnt for her, I would have let go a long time ago.

Now that she's gone, I have no other reason to continue.

What other reason is there?
For the students? Oh please, some of them dont even like me. Why should I?
For the lecturers? I dont think this has anything to do with them
For the purpose of making a difference? Come on, I'm not as naive as I used to be. I've already made my difference. Now that the management has changed, "difference" would be a word unheard of.
For the purpose of getting experience?? You have got to be kidding me. I've had 3 damn years! I've had enough.
For helping out the management?? This would be the last reason on my list. I've devoted 3 years in this business, I've been helping out as hard as I can, as dedicated as I can. Don't expect me to go into it again for the purpose of HELPING out the management. If I do this, then I'm stupid. Why the heck should I so-call devote myself for the sake of making the management's job easier?? I wont let myself become an object for other people's sick purpose.

I've been in this business far too long. Sometimes, its just hard to imagine life in UNIKL without a post. I'd be lying if I said that I didnt want to become someone important. The other day, I nearly sacrificed my holidays for a task that wasnt really mine. I was having second thoughts about it. But Ms Jann finally made me realize that I'm just too attached. So I need to learn to let go.

Thank you Ms =) I am indeed grateful.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Public Transports

Dear Blog
Haha.. Feels like the old days when I was enthusiasticly writing in my dairy. Haha.. not anymore. I used to love writing all sorts of things. But I learnt my lesson well. Don't write things you know you dont want people to read. They'll eventually find out and you'll be in a whole lot of trouble =) Hehe.. I certainly had my share of trouble. But that's another story..

Blog, I had a meeting in KL the other day. And guess what? I took a double decker express! Hehe.. It was SO COOL. I know, this wouldnt be my first time riding one. I used to ride double deckers in England. Even the ones with no roof. Hehe.. But it was still real fun!

But here I am again, taking a double decker express. The ride was ok, the fare was ok too. But the only thing that slacked was the roof. I took a seat on the top deck and well.. Being a rather tall person, I'd say that the roof was too low. For my standard anyway. I practically had to tilt my head down a little to walk my way down to my seat. Hehhehe.. If I couldnt stand up properly, imagine Ahmad! Hahahhaha.. It would be a funny sight, wouldnt it? =)

So ok, that's one public transport. The other one I want to write about is the LRT. PUTRA LRT to be exact. Oh mann.. I havent been on the LRT for some while now. Since I have the car, taking the LRT doesnt seem so convinient as it used to be. However, since parking at the new building will be kind hard, I thought that maybe I could switch back taking the LRT again.

So there I was. I came to KL with the bus, the car was in JB, so like it or not, I still had to take the LRT. My meeting was at 9.00 a.m. I stepped out of the house at 8.15 a.m. which is already late if I'd want to take the LRT. It take approximately 45mins to arrive there. Not including the time I have to walk from the station to the buliding itself. I was indeed late.

I had to wait for 3 LRT's to pass by until I got to ride one. I couldnt believe how crowded it has become. Oh God, my butt was practically in another person's arm. Man, it was bad. How the heck am I to survive doing the every single day??

That was on the way TO the meeting. Let me tell you about my way BACK. It was raining cats and dogs. I was already late going back bcoz the rain was so heavy, I couldnt get out of the building. So, as I was lining up to get into the Monorail (which is nearer to the new building) the door opened. I was second in line mind you. Then suddenly, this rude egoistical chinese man came barging in, shoulders and all, cutting the line, pushing everyone aside! How rude! He knocked me down for that matter. If I didnt reach out to hold the door, I would have fallen. Embarresingly if I might add. Oh God, that man was awful. When he got his area where he was comfortable, he just stood there in other people's way. Never thinking of other people's inconvenience when they had to squeeze between him and other people. Padahal kan, all he had to do was move further in. But NOO, that jerk of a man felt that it was too arduous for him to pick up his heavy butt.

People in KL are too stuck up with themselves, being more individualistic by the day. It hard to even see courtesy nowdays. Teruk btul la. What happened to sopan santun??

I'm having second thoughts about taking the LRT to class. It won't only be more tiring bcoz you'd have to squeeze your way thru, but I think it would also bring effect to my mental well-being. I think if I take the LRT, I'd become someone who will have more mood swings and bad days, just because of the people around me.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Inspirational Words

Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen.
Love your life, believe in your powers and your potential and in your own goodness.
Wake up every morning with the awe of just being alive.
Discover in each day the magnificent awesome beauty of the world.
And never forget to smile
For it will brighten your day a thousand times brighter than the sun..

STUPID Quotes to cheer your day! =P

Enjoy.. ^_^

  1. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
  2. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  3. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  4. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  5. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  6. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
  7. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  8. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  9. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
  10. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
  11. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  12. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
  13. Death is hereditary.
  14. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
  15. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
  16. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
  17. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
  18. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
  19. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
  20. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  21. Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.
  22. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
  23. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Oh no, I’ve been tagged!

Ha ha, nice move Umayr.. Now I’ve been tagged and infected with the blog tagging virus. Thanks a lot! Hehhee.. No la, just kidding. Thanks Umayr for including me in ur tagging business =P

So, here are the rules of the tag

  1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
  2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
  3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
  4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
  5. Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

Umayr, I know this is just a cheezy yet clever way to find out secrets from a female! Hahaha.. So here goes..

My Perfect Lover (Male <-- Of course Male! Duh) must:
1) Have the same belief as me and practices it the same way as I do
Islam. Hey of course la.

2) Be someone I can respect. Intellectual.
I must be able to respect him. He must be worthy of being respected. He must be better than me in things so that I will be able to look up to him.

3) Be someone who can guide me thru the ups and downs of life
As we go on in life, we go thru all the ups and downs and he must be able to guide me thru them. Guide me in the right way, using the right method that fits my personality. We must be able to help each other along the way.

4) Be an open-minded and supportive person
EVERY female asks for this rule. We all are sensitive and compassionate, so we want a partner who can understand that. Yes, there are so many differences between the genders, but we can’t change them; that’s how we are created. So that’s why we should support each other in this matter.

5) Be romantic and can make me laugh
Sometimes its nice having someone who is always caring and romantic by your side. It’s always a dream to wake up in the morning and find a single red rose at your pillow. Or going out on a romantic candle light dinner for our anniversary, or even just a sweet sms of love every now and again. Although it sounds really silly, it’s these small things that structures a life long relationship. It assures us females that we are always loved and remembered no matter the time or situation. Yes, we do need assurance.

There’s a saying: “If you can make a girl laugh, you are already 60% in her heart”. Laughter is the best medicine for any illness. Life without laughter is boring and dull. I don’t want dull life, I want a life full of happiness and laughter which will lead to beautiful memories.

6) Give me some freedom
Every individual has their own interest, their own friends and their own time. I must be able to make my own choices. I don’t like people making choices for me. If other people make them, I’ll blame them if anything goes wrong. I like to take responsibility on my own actions =) You can call that Ego if you want. I just love my privacy and freedom. He must also let me pursue and support my own dreams.

7) Have good English and is taller than me
This might sound lame, but he MUST be able to practice English well. I don’t think I can be able to accept someone who has terrible English. English is a huge part of my life, it’s my second language for that matter. I’m able to express myself better in English. An English spoken person is more open-minded and intellectual (in my opinion that is =P) It’s pretty hard to respect someone who has a lower level English compared to me. Mann.. I’m I choosy!

I am a tall person. So I need a man who is taller than me. In a way, I’ll be able to look up to him. Literally as well as figuratively speaking =)

8) Be good to look at and loves children
Hey, you’re gonna spend your whole life with him, so you must have someone you love to look at everyday. Hehe.. But hey, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder =)

I love children, so he must love them too. He must also support me around the house. Help me cook, help me with the dishes, help me with the children, laundry, etc. It’s the togetherness that’s important. Working together as a TEAM.

Another reason why I want a good looking mate..? So that I get cute and adorable looking children! Hehe =P

There. All the 8 points I was asked to list down. There are more where that came from, a whole long list of the things I’d want in a man. But come on, IS THERE someone as perfect as that?? I don’t think so. With all the losers and weirdos in the world today, you’ll keep asking yourself.. Am I EVER gonna find the right mate? Hehe.. Being sarcastic here. I know.

I’ve long ago learned that there is no perfect person. Everyone has their weaknesses. And I should learn to accept them. Why should I ask for a perfect person when I myself am not perfect?

I will find my other half someday. InsyaAllah =) Maybe in other people’s eyes he might not be perfect, but as long as he is perfect in my eyes, that’s fine by me.

Here's a list of the people I've tagged! You guys better reply..

1. Kaklong
2. Kak Has
3. Kak Diela
4. Kak Put
5. Shah
6. Abg Apai
7. Haikal
8. Azreey

Okey, hopefully I'll get some responce! =)

Friday, June 02, 2006

The Passing of a Great Individual

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

Heya All.. Yeah, I know I haven’t been writing for some while. Its been kinda hectic lately. You’ll understand what I mean if you were in my shoes, facing what I’ve been thru for the past months. I’m not here to write about my chaotic life, but about a particular person. I’m been putting off updating my blog, I know. Why? Because, I couldn’t find the courage; I wasn’t brave enough to go thru the dismal and saddening experience again. I didn’t want to remember.

I’ve lost my inspiration; I’ve lost my soul of passion. Ms Put passed away last week. And until today, I have no idea how to deal with my emotion. She was my backbone; she was the person who never stopped encouraging me to be someone better. She was the one who always believed in me. She accepted me for who I was. She taught me to accept my flaws and take it as a challenge to improve myself. And now she’s gone.

When I got the news, I had no idea how to react. YaAllah, please give me patience. I didn’t want to believe it; I didn’t want to accept it. Truthfully, I didn’t take it seriously. I just taught someone was making such a horrible joke, I was so mad. But the reality of the situation came crushing to me as soon as I arrived at her house.

In front of the house, I was greeted by Ms Addot. We hugged each other so tight, both of us wanting to wipe out each other’s pain. The day went by with a blur. I have absolutely no idea what happened.

That day, her house was filled with all of the students from seniors to juniors, from friends to acquaintance. So many people came to pay their last respects, proof that she lived to her fullest, touching peoples’ hearts along the way. She was definitely loved by all.

Ms Put was a special individual. As one of my friends said, “She was the angel Amirah; the constant influence that expected neither gratitude nor praises, but an underlying hope that we would take our opportunities and succeed in living with greatness. She pushed us to excel..” I couldn’t have said it better myself. She was an angel alright.
To me, Ms Put was a dear dear big sister. She was always there to listen to my ramblings. Always there to be my shoulder to cry on. Always giving encouragement, always believing in me. I used to constantly peak into her room at the RG floor to see whether she was in or not. If she was, I would always find the time to go see her. Sometimes, I even go out of class for a break to go have a laugh with her. Now, every time I go to the RG floor, I find myself still doing the same thing, but always finding her room dark with no one inside. It has become a habit for me to peak into her room. But now, each time I do so, it brings pain to my heart and soul, a reminder that she’s no longer here with us.

Ms Put went, bringing all her consoling smiles and reassuring gestures. We will no longer hear her kind words or her soothing voice. I once dedicated one of the awards I received during graduation to her. She was the one whom gave me so many opportunities to excel and be where I am today. Without her encouragements, I would never have even received any of those two awards. It’s too late for me to repay my gratitude to her. Even though she has never asked for anything in return, I still owe her so much.

Yes Ms Put has gone from us, but she will never be forgotten. She will always and forever more be in our hearts. Each step up the ladder of success, I will dedicate it to her loving memory. Like I said, I owe her so much. My constant doa and this dedication is the only way I can ever repay her.

Let us dedicate Al-Fatihah to her. May she always be blessed with her kindness and thoughtfulness to others. She showered us with benevolence, giving and spreading love unselfishly. May Allah bless her soul. Aminn..

I miss you so much..