Monday, January 31, 2005

The sunrise of my tomorrow =)

Today is a start of a new chapter of my life

No more guilty feeling. There’s nothing be feel guilty about.

No more feeling sorry for myself. This is practically the best thing that can ever happen to me. A realization. Allah’s Big Plan is always what’s best for us.

No feeling of regret. I already see the hikmah in all of this. Never am I going to regret it.

Today, the first step is the best thing in the world. Ya Allah, thank you for always being there to guide me every step of the way. The uneasy feeling inside my heart was Your way of guiding me.

Thank you. I am forever grateful.

I feel brilliant and inspired. =) Come smile along with me.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Ms Put and I ..

Since we’re talking about the things I miss most, I’d love to talk about the lecturer I miss most. Her name is Ms Put, short for Ms Puteri Zalina Addnan, the Student Affairs Manager at UNIKL IIM. Since being a member of MPP, I’ve been given the chance of knowing a whole lot of wonderful individuals and one of them is of course my favorite lecturer and friend Ms Put.

I used to go to her place just to see a smiling face and having some peace of mind. She has this power of lighting up your day just by talking to her. Every time I go to the RG floor, I’ll always look into her room to see if she’s there. Yes, I do go see her for all the MPP matters, but when I have some free time in my hands like in between classes, I find the opportunity to go and see her.

I miss the talks we have about the MPP’s, the students and the problems that arise. I miss listening to her experience and advice. There are days when u feel bad about urself.. to gain back my self-esteem, I always talk to her. Its nice to have someone support you and encourage you. I’ve even asked her to lift up my motivation once. She does wonders with just a few words. When the work load is too much or my stress level is on the verge of bursting, I go to her to let them all out. She always gives me a hug when I cry.

One of the things I miss most is having dinner with her, Kakaput and Mama. When I don’t feel like going back home, I eat my dinner with them talking and joking along the way. The whole family has such a caring nature.

Ms, I miss you. This post is written because I’m on the brink of breaking down. Life does that to you sometimes and I have no one to talk to. There are days when u feel people have forgotten your existence, you feel that ur friends have abandoned you. I know they’re still there, they’re just busy with work as I am. But you just can’t forget that empty feeling. You also feel that people hate you, that’s why they forget about you.

This is silly, I know. Its probably my emotions going wild. But still.. I just miss everyone.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

The things I miss most

There are times when I wish I had an excuse to go back to KL and see my friends. Ever had the feeling that ur life is incomplete? The feeling of loneliness and wishing u had friends to talk to? Well, that's how I'm feeling at the moment. All my friends are in KL, all the poeple who I talked to are so far away that I feeling I'm so full of emotion I'm afraid I'll burst. Its sad that my phone doesnt ring anymore. Even if it does, they're only either mak or ayah. The only people I get to talk to here is Aimi. But even so, she doesnt understand what I mean most of the time. I dont have real people to talk to. Its so sad that I pity myself for feeling this way. I'm on the verge of tears everytime I think about it.

What I miss most at the moment:
  1. I miss the way I spend the day with my friends, waiting at the cafeteria eating bfast together, then going to class together. I miss meeting back for lunch at Medan MARA.
  2. I miss laughing along with the stupid jokes we share, the long conversations, the excitement of listening and sharing the tough days as well.
  3. I miss being able to let my emotions out and having someone to listen to me opening my heart out. I miss being able to cry together.
  4. I miss being able to walk into Ms Put's room and just hanging out with her. I miss her jokes, her advice, her laugh and her smile (I'll tell u about Ms Put one day).
  5. I miss being able to walk on the RG floor and people who say hi when I pass by. I miss bumping into lecturers and smiling. They always have something to say to me.
  6. I miss talking to the IIM staff, Abg Zul, Kak Yati, Kak Zan, En Kasman, Abg Fizy.. they've always been so nice to me. It's a blessing to have known them.
  7. I miss having a laugh with my class mates. Even though most of the boys are annoying, they still have a place in my heart.
  8. I miss talking to the juniours, bumping into them, being their mentor, laughing together, giving advices.
  9. I miss attending class, having the pleasure of gaining knowledge. I miss answering questions and receiving smiles from the lecturers accompanied with a look of gratitude coz I volenteered to answer.
  10. I miss the love and the smiles. I miss the smells and the atmosphere. I miss everyone.

All my friends: Ju, Fad, Ocha, Abg MeL, Zaim, Alan, Alif, Kak ayu, Bomba, Syed, Tommy, Kak Mazni, Kak Lyd, Diana, Pejol, Bulat, Gaban, Jawa, Lili, Amir, Kakaput, Kakdilla, GD, KakLin, Knot, Qasha, Rocky, and all the others.. I cant list down everyone.

My adik2 juniours: Mirul, Kirin, Ewan, Megat, Ejat, Nuar, Aliyah, Fai, Apis, Semut, SJ.. Good luck in your coming studies. Akak dah tak dpt nak jaga korang dah, elok2 jaga diri.

My beloved lecturers: Ms Put, Ms Adott, Ms Tatty, Pn Lily, Ms Gibb, Ms Jan, Pn Zalizah, Pn Su, Ms Shima, Ms Jann, Pn Yati, Pn Ros, Pn Faridah, Sir Azmin, Sir Nizam, En Helmi, Ust Sazali, Ust Aziz, Ms Idd, and every lecturer who has ever taught me.. I miss u guys. Please dont ever forget me.

To all the others, some may hate me, some may like me, some have hurt my feelings, some others have been hurt by me. Those are the people who have taken me thru the journey in KL. Thank you.