Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Finding Your Soul Mate

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

I noticed how people just love to read controversial posts. Hehe. Looking at the stats for my blog, the most viewed post was the one that consisted of my love letter to my future husband :) And apparently, after that very controversial post, my visitors/readers have increased a significant amount. Thank you for that. I just hope that you guys gain some insight and some lessons from most of my ramblings. I hope whatever I write in this blog will be messages that remind all of us the beauty of Islam, and bring us all back to Allah SWT if we find ourselves diverted from the right path.

So, as a 'treat', Im going to write about my quest in finding my soul mate =)

Although by now, most of you have read the expectations I have for my other half, I am sure many sisters out there feel basically the same way. No one wants a horrible husband/wife, no one wants an irresponsible life partner. Everyone wants the other half to be someone who can bring us to Jannah. Girl or boy, Im sure the situation is the same. The expectations the same.

Iklan: I haven't slept all night cos I had to finish a grant proposal. So I might be a little woozy by lack of sleep. So bare with my writing ok. Hehe.

I'll admit, finding your other half is not as easy as it sounds. People keep asking me when I'll be getting married. Friends, colleagues, co-workers, even family. There was a time when this made me feel very very stressful. But having grown up from all the experiences in life, you tend to go with the flow. Your maturity helps you understand the situation and accept that Allah's plan is way better that how we'd want our life to happen.

And yes, I've had my many disappointments when it comes to accepting and rejecting prospective candidates as life partners. Who hasn't. Oh ok, those who had it easy.. well, that's how Allah planned it for you. And congratulations. I only ask that you (whoever you are), to not compare. It's hurtful and insulting.

Ok, back to life partners. One has to face the facts that prospective males nowadays are becoming extinct. Those who are awesome, ofkos are taken. Those who from your point of view is a catch, just doesnt have the confidence to make the first move. Those who you see can definitely be partners dunia akhirah, just feels threatened by your academic qualifications.

Hmmm.. so sisters, what on earth are we going to do? I do not suggest not pursuing your studies just because there arent many guys also doing the same thing. I know that majority of the post grad students are females (in my department, 80% are girls). I don't know about masters, but I can assume that its the same case.

Come on, don't tell me you'd sacrifice the call for education and knowledge just for the sake of wanting to easily get life partners. One thing you shouldn't sacrifice is the pursue of knowledge. Even Islam encourages us to do so.If you are able, learn as much as you can. There is no shame in having a good educational background.

As for my brothers in Islam, wake up my dear brothers. What is this I hear that you always feel threatened by a sister who has a much higher qualification that you? Why do you hide and run the other way? Wake up and smell the seaweed. Be a man and face the facts. Better yet, go and GET that higher qualification if you want it. No one is stopping you but yourself. Don't break peoples heart just by giving this particular reason as a basis of rejection.

I write this all from experience. Yeah, it has happened to me. Numerous times. And I am no longer embarrassed to talk about it. With all the problems and experiences in the world, the fundamental principle in life is, someone out there has either had the same experience as you or much much worst than what you've been thru. Which is why we share. We talk, write and share. You never know whether with the sharing you do, someone who is going (or has been) thru the same situation can see it from a better light.

Life partners. Yeah, very hard to find. For me especially. There is always the issue of height. Hehe. I can't help standing out from the crowd. Its in the genes =)

Sometimes people say that I must be too picky. Some have tried to convince me that shorter husbands are not something so bad. Hmm.. let me stop you there. Although it isn't so bad, who doesnt want to have someone you can literally look up to? I am a serious romantic (lucky future husband ey :P), so I would love to be able to walk with my husband, holding his arm and having this sense of security. Which might work with a shorter husband, but I'll admit that it's hard to imagine.

English. Hmm.. another trait people seem to fear. As you can catch by now, you can assume that I would love to have someone who is good in English. But this is NOT a main criteria. I can live without the English. It would be a sacrifice from my part, but I am willing to do it.

My main criteria is someone who has a strong foundation in Islam, who is actively participating in Dakwah, who has the same beliefs and goals as me. If his Islamic practices are superb, then all the rest is not as important.

Im sorry to say, this is what saddens me. Don't tell me even these types are slowly becoming extinct. That would be a sad day. Very sad day.

So my brothers in Islam. If you are reading this, and you've been thru that thinking process of what to look for in a prospective partner, be a little lenient. Education should NOT be an issue. In fact, it should be an asset.

Whatever it is, I implore everyone to just be patient. Good things come to those who are patient. Don't think too hard about it because among the first things Allah had planned for us is our partners. So just wait and pray. InsyaAllah the day will come when you are reunited with your other half. Just don't stop praying.


As a treat, here's a song that made me write this post. Enjoy :)

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