Assalamualaikum WRT WBT
Heya All.. Yeah, I know I haven’t been writing for some while. Its been kinda hectic lately. You’ll understand what I mean if you were in my shoes, facing what I’ve been thru for the past months. I’m not here to write about my chaotic life, but about a particular person. I’m been putting off updating my blog, I know. Why? Because, I couldn’t find the courage; I wasn’t brave enough to go thru the dismal and saddening experience again. I didn’t want to remember.
I’ve lost my inspiration; I’ve lost my soul of passion. Ms Put passed away last week. And until today, I have no idea how to deal with my emotion. She was my backbone; she was the person who never stopped encouraging me to be someone better. She was the one who always believed in me. She accepted me for who I was. She taught me to accept my flaws and take it as a challenge to improve myself. And now she’s gone.
When I got the news, I had no idea how to react. YaAllah, please give me patience. I didn’t want to believe it; I didn’t want to accept it. Truthfully, I didn’t take it seriously. I just taught someone was making such a horrible joke, I was so mad. But the reality of the situation came crushing to me as soon as I arrived at her house.
In front of the house, I was greeted by Ms Addot. We hugged each other so tight, both of us wanting to wipe out each other’s pain. The day went by with a blur. I have absolutely no idea what happened.
That day, her house was filled with all of the students from seniors to juniors, from friends to acquaintance. So many people came to pay their last respects, proof that she lived to her fullest, touching peoples’ hearts along the way. She was definitely loved by all.
Ms Put was a special individual. As one of my friends said, “She was the angel Amirah; the constant influence that expected neither gratitude nor praises, but an underlying hope that we would take our opportunities and succeed in living with greatness. She pushed us to excel..” I couldn’t have said it better myself. She was an angel alright.
To me, Ms Put was a dear dear big sister. She was always there to listen to my ramblings. Always there to be my shoulder to cry on. Always giving encouragement, always believing in me. I used to constantly peak into her room at the RG floor to see whether she was in or not. If she was, I would always find the time to go see her. Sometimes, I even go out of class for a break to go have a laugh with her. Now, every time I go to the RG floor, I find myself still doing the same thing, but always finding her room dark with no one inside. It has become a habit for me to peak into her room. But now, each time I do so, it brings pain to my heart and soul, a reminder that she’s no longer here with us.
Ms Put went, bringing all her consoling smiles and reassuring gestures. We will no longer hear her kind words or her soothing voice. I once dedicated one of the awards I received during graduation to her. She was the one whom gave me so many opportunities to excel and be where I am today. Without her encouragements, I would never have even received any of those two awards. It’s too late for me to repay my gratitude to her. Even though she has never asked for anything in return, I still owe her so much.
Yes Ms Put has gone from us, but she will never be forgotten. She will always and forever more be in our hearts. Each step up the ladder of success, I will dedicate it to her loving memory. Like I said, I owe her so much. My constant doa and this dedication is the only way I can ever repay her.
Let us dedicate Al-Fatihah to her. May she always be blessed with her kindness and thoughtfulness to others. She showered us with benevolence, giving and spreading love unselfishly. May Allah bless her soul. Aminn..
I miss you so much..