STUPID Quotes to cheer your day! =P

Enjoy.. ^_^

1. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
2. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
3. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
4. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
5. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
6. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
7. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
9. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
10. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
11. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
12. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
13. Death is hereditary.
14. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
15. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
16. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
17. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
18. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
19. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
20. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
21. Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.
22. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
23. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.