“You have to learn to let go”
Those were the words that made me think. Words that were voiced out by Ms Jann
Remember the post where I said that I'm in a dilema about this post thingy? Well, I'm not anymore. Ms Jann finally straightened me out. She's right you know. I really NEED to learn to let go.
I've been in this Student Council business far too long. 3 years mann! Whoever can survive more than that is certainly a robot. The first year was great, I held the Asst. Secretary post. Which was quite tough actually. But it was fun. When I was re-elected for another higher post the year after that, from secretary to Vice President, it became somewhat of a challenge. A challenge for me to be someone better, to make a difference, to do something and bring impact. It was fun too.
But then came the 3rd year. Re-elected again, with the same post (no one wants a lady president mind you ^_^) It was indeed an honour, but unfortunately the fun of it ran out. I was drained, I was tired, exhausted and just plain worn out.
I didnt really want this post. I didnt want to become Vice President again. Although this was with another bunch of new faces, I've been thru too much already to go thru it again. Why did I still take the post? Because of our beloved Ms Puteri. I owed her something. I owed her this. That was the soul purpose of it. If it wasnt for her, I would have let go a long time ago.
Now that she's gone, I have no other reason to continue.
What other reason is there?
For the students? Oh please, some of them dont even like me. Why should I?
For the lecturers? I dont think this has anything to do with them
For the purpose of making a difference? Come on, I'm not as naive as I used to be. I've already made my difference. Now that the management has changed, "difference" would be a word unheard of.
For the purpose of getting experience?? You have got to be kidding me. I've had 3 damn years! I've had enough.
For helping out the management?? This would be the last reason on my list. I've devoted 3 years in this business, I've been helping out as hard as I can, as dedicated as I can. Don't expect me to go into it again for the purpose of HELPING out the management. If I do this, then I'm stupid. Why the heck should I so-call devote myself for the sake of making the management's job easier?? I wont let myself become an object for other people's sick purpose.
I've been in this business far too long. Sometimes, its just hard to imagine life in UNIKL without a post. I'd be lying if I said that I didnt want to become someone important. The other day, I nearly sacrificed my holidays for a task that wasnt really mine. I was having second thoughts about it. But Ms Jann finally made me realize that I'm just too attached. So I need to learn to let go.
Thank you Ms =) I am indeed grateful.