My Good Old Days

Salam Ramadhan everyone!

Today my post will not be regarding pegi jalan2 orait. Hehe. Suddenly I missed just writing for the fun of it. Not coz I went somewhere and wanna tell you guys.

To tell you the truth, I'd like to talk about my old chatting days after SPM. Yeah, I was an active chatter. May it be mIRC or MSN. I was always online just for the fun of talking to strangers. When I think about it now, it was rather dangerous. I remember countless times where Mak and Ayah would always tell me about the dangers of talking and giving out personal information about myself to strangers on the net, about the implications and what it might lead to. But being the stubborn child I was back then, I only took like 30% of what Mak and Ayah said.

Actually, it is dangerous (I wouldnt advise my siblings or any high school kids to even try). But I'd like to think that Allah was there to protect me. Maybe berkat doa Mak ngan Ayah kot. Although I still chatted, I went into channels with school friends -- well, they consisted of peers and juniors from school, boys la majority. I couldnt really call them friends until that time. Yelah, budak sekolah agama, mane ckp sgt with boys. I also like to think that this is how I overcame the 'in-the-cacoon' mentality. It really prepared me when I finally when to university.

Other than those channels (or chat rooms) in mIRC, I went into channels of da'wah. I really dont remember the names of those channels. It was like 7 years ago! But among them were #rhaudah, #taqwa. Hahhaha. (I havent went into 'chatting-mode" for a really really long time). But I did find my way into channels like these. There were weekly tazkirah from someone they call Tok Aki. He was an Ustaz. And the conversations in there always revolved around Islam, fiqh, sirah, and aqidah. Sometimes there were fun 'mengarut' times too.

Listening to my parents advice, I didnt use my real name and I didnt really give out personal information that ppl can use. I only showed them my personality, which shockingly they started to love. During that time, I was one of the youngest chatters in those channels, so they really 'took care' of me. Sgt caring and sangat menjaga kita, tak bagi kite buat benda2 tak elok. I always received lots of advices.

My nickname back then was Faqihah, and they all called me qiha. I referred myself as qiha too. Well, you have to admit, it was a cute name :P Hehhe..

Over time, I had my own little 'family'. Although most of these ppl were in their 20s, 30s and 40s, I had my own Tok, an Abi, lots and lots of pakcik and makciks, abgs and kakak2s. It was very cool. They liked you coz of u, not bcoz of ur looks. They knew you by ur personality, with no judgement of appearance or social standing. It was a very good experience.

Alhamdulillah, even though I was naughty by chatting (well, it was considered naughty during that time la), I met very good and decent people. Like I said, berkat doa Mak Ayah kot. And I have to say that the people I met in chatting are much closer to me than real life friends in certain situations.

There are some whom Ive never met before. Some who I dont even know how they look! But I dont care, coz Id rather know them as them. That is if they didnt pretend la. Yeah, there were always dangers of impostors and ppl lying their ears off. I did have some experience with that, but alhamdulillah, all in all, majority of them are very decent ppl.

For those whom Ive met, alhamdulillah. Tok Aki was really an Ustaz and his wife wore a niqab lagi. Ive met them both. Ive met various ppl from my chatting era, especially the kakak2. Diorg belanja buka puasa sama la, bagi hadiah la, ajak dtg kenduri kawen la. It was very cool. And I had my own little community of friends. Im sure when Mak and Ayah read this, they're gonna flip! Hahaha.. yeah, it was dangerous, I know. But I knew how to take care of myself. You guys taught me well *wink*. I would never go alone.

And till this day, the people whom I still keep in contact, are still good friends of mine. I cant believe its been 8 years. Been thru lots with them. They always update me from time to time.

This post was actually initiated by the 'reunion' of me with one of my 'pakcik's from those old days. He contacted me yesterday. Thru YM.

I once asked this little community of mine, the reason why they chatted in the first place. And most of them had personal problems, marriage problems, where they found talking to someone who doesnt know you, to be their escape route. Or rather an alternative to talk with ppl who know you. It doesnt add the pressure of embarrassments and awkward moments.

Others were bcoz they had a hard time making friends in real life. Like this pakcik of mine. He was a very kind man. Very witty and very caring. Much much later, when I became part of the 'family', I he told me that he actually couldnt walk. He was involved in an accident and he will have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. This made me very sad.

Although there was the possibility that this was just bull, I was very naive and trusting back then. I took heart with his condition, and kinda helped him heal.

When I attended a #rhaudah gathering that one time, I found out that he wasnt the only one in a wheelchair. Another kakak was in one too. YaAllah, kesian btul. And he wasnt lying to me. He was in a wheelchair.

But I never treated him differently. I knew that being in such a condition, I didnt think he would appreciate being treated differently. The awkward conversations, etc2. Oh, u know what I mean. So I was still the crazy silly little girl I was in the chat rooms. I also found that these ppl were true as they were online. Very very decent ppl. Alhamdulillah.

And I did help this pakcik of mine heal. He called me his "sweet little sister". Later, I learned that he moved on with his life. He got married (I was invited, but I didnt go. I dont remember why, but there was a reason), he returned to work and has been happier since.

Yesterday, he contacted me back after so long. His first news was.. "Qiha, skrg I can drive all by myself! I dont need a driver anymore! :D Now I can drive all the way to Melaka, N9, Johor all by myself! ". YaAllah, he sounded so happy -- well thats how I inteprated his writing la. Alhamdulillah.

Teachers you to always be grateful doesnt it. And also not to judge someone from the outside.

Its a great feeling isnt it when you know you helped someone. A great feeling indeed. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for letting me go thru this experience.

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Which is why I was SO ANGRY when I heard that this certain female sebarkan fitnah about me having an 'affair' with someone on a wheelchair. Aghhhhh! I felt like walking right to her and punching her right in the face, with hope that Id brake her nose.

Ade ke patut. Takpe, biar die tanggung dosa sendiri. Not my problem anymore.
*ish tgh Ramadhan ni. Sabar Amirah, sabar. Nnt kurang pahala puasa.
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Again, thank you Allah for taking care of me and letting me stay on the right path.

p/s: this chatting community reminds me of the little group we used to have in efx2. KakLollies, KakElisa, Mr Mosh and many others. I miss that.