My Birthday Present

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

Good Day fellow bloggers and loyal readers. A lot have happened since I last wrote. I was officially appointed as a Research Officer at our centre (wohoo!), unfortunately that limits my free time on weekdays. Yeah, I have to punch in and out (boohoo).

I also just came back from a 3 day workshop and conference concerning TRIZ which is a direct relation to my PhD research. Fiuh, a lot of input!

And after the conference, I straight away went to Jakarta and Bandung for 5 days. So yeah, it’s been hectic. I have a loooong list of things to do  -- 19 things to be exact. Combining today and tomorrow, I have completed 8 tasks. I have to finish writing a paper by Monday, I have to study TRIZ because I have to teach it on Monday morning. Argh! Yeah, panicking.

One of the things on my list is writing a post for my blog. Even though it not the MOST important thing on the list, Im doing it anyway coz I can’t do the other things on the list just yet. STRESS!

So okey, it was my birthday yesterday :) Happy Birthday to me. Yeah, I’m feeling my age. Old.

It was also my nephew’s birthday, dearest Thauban. He’s 1 years old today :) Grow up to be Ummi’s knight in shining armor okey. Be a good boy and don’t go worry urself about wanting to copy whatever Layth is doing just yet. Don’t grow up too fast.

My birthday this year was not really a celebration. To me, it was more a reflection. Reflection on the double digits on my age chart and on what I have really been doing for the past years. With the life Allah has given me, what have I done in terms of my amal, my contribution to Islam and my responsibilities as a Muslim.

Thinking back, I feel that I haven’t been the best that I can be and I have so much more to do. My responsibilities are all on my shoulders, resting heavily, just waiting to be done. As the days past, the weight becomes heavier, and I know I will drown in them if I procrastinate.

You know Allah is rewarding you when He moves your heart or your body to do something that reminds you about Him. Yesterday, I rewarded myself with a few minutes of lecture by Sheikh Anwar Al-Awlaki in the car. His lectures are long, and I usually cannot find the time to listen to him unless I am driving alone to a far distance. These are the times where I can concentrate listening to his moving lectures on Death and the Afterlife.  That was my birthday present to myself.

I’ve learnt a lot listening to his lectures. And since it is in English, the messages go deep within, attaches right in the heart. If anyone of you is thinking of self-reformation, go and listen to him. His talks will open your eyes, heart and minds literally. You will look at the world in a different light. His talks can be downloaded online.

Islam is actually beautiful. Those who resist are either ignorant or have been influenced by syaitan to defy the fitrah of mankind. We come from Jannah and our goal is to return back to Jannah to live in for eternity. Allah has promised that those who look for Him will always find Him. It’s just us humans who are egoistic and refrain from looking for Him. We walk with pride on this earth He created as if we do not need Him, when in fact He is the reason we exist.

Yes, my birthday this year is different from all the other years. I see changes in myself that I am proud of. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have any weaknesses that I need to overcome or improve. Whatever it is, please keep praying for me.

Pray that Allah allow me to complete my amal, to ease my journey on earth and most importantly in the hereafter. Pray that Allah ease my journey during Hisab, during Mizan and on the titian Sirat. Pray that we will all be reunited in Jannah with our family and friends.

Most importantly, pray that we are always reminded of Allah in every step of our lives and that we are constantly in Allah’s embrace. I always pray that Allah hug me tightly and never let me go. That’s my source of inspiration. It gives me strength and cleanses the heart.

Try it. It’ll make wonders towards feeling Allah’s love :)