Im writing another post right before bed. Just think I need to get it off my chest before I can actually sleep, eventhough the time is already a quater past 12.
Eventhough the person who sent me the sms has no fault in the matter, its not her fault. Its another 'her' thats making steam come out of my ears.
How DARE she try to twist things around. How DARE she pin this on me. How DARE she make me look like the guilty one. Right now Im so angry that I dont care that this might be happening bcos of her unstable hormons. I dont CARE. Why? Bcos she's been giving excuses topped up with more excuses, as if she is the ONLY person who has important things going on in her life. So what if ur married, so what? That is NOT a reason. Its an excuse, and uve been using it so many times that its becoming like a broken record.
Yes, Im pissed. And yes, my letting off steam like this might leassen my pahala puasa for today. But Im still angry. And I cant go to sleep like this.
No matter what other ppl say, Im staying away from her for a while. Ive been trying so hard to understand her situation, I volunteered to help out numerous times, I covered for her, and this is how she repays me? This is what I get from her? Accusations? Now Im beginning to regret it.
Ya Allah give me the patience to get thru this, give me the feeling of sincerity once more, let me be ikhlas in my amal, in my sacrifices and in my dakwah work. Strengthen our bond of ukhuwwah, and make those whom have run away from this path realise their mistakes and come back to You. Help us all thru this, especially me. Me who sometimes forget that I am no one without Your Rahmah. Let us be sincere in our journey and stronger thru the tribulations You put us thru.
Ameen Ya Rabb
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