Friday, February 17, 2012

Looking in the Review Mirror of Life

Assalamualaikum WRT WBT

In the wee hours of the morning, I find myself sitting in front of the laptop. I can't seem to be able to sleep. So, with the intent of not disturbing my sleeping sister, I decided to come sit downstairs in the living room.

After tossing and turning in bed, Im try to crack my head around what exactly is bothering me, what is it that's making me unable to get my rest.

It's currently 2a.m. but I have still yet to figure this out. So I'm trying to blog. You never know what might come out into the page once the flow of words start forming in your head and is projected by your fingers tapping away.

I admit that sometimes, before a post, I dont have an idea or a topic in mind. Sometimes, it just comes to me as the time passes. And suddenly, I find that I have written more than a few paragraphs.

It is unbelievable at how much we can do in this world when we decide to do it. Priority wise, I am still working on what to do first and what to put aside for a later date. With the overwhelming responsibilities one has to do in order to achieve happiness in life and the hereafter, we tend to overlook at what is really important.

One of the things I've been hearing a lot these couple of weeks is "You can't always do the things you like. You have to do the things that should be done."

Learning to understand and follow thru is much harder than you think. Ofkos we will excel and enjoy the things we like to do. Ofkos we'll find ourselves willing to sacrifice a lot more when we know that in the end, we will be more satisfied with the end results.

BUT, it is a crime to simply put aside the tasks and responsibilities that we HAVE to do just because its hard and requires much more thinking and sacrificing.

I think this is what has me up at this time of night.

Ideally, it is important and routine for the nights to be a time to wind down and take a break from life. But sometimes, life surprises you with emotions that will require self reflection and muhasabah. Sometimes it is important to stop and take a look behind you to see what's been going on, what are the things you have done wrong and what should be improved from this moment on. Sometimes, all you have to do to be a better person is look in the review mirror to see where you've been and how have you been handling life.

Have you ever noticed how the sky looks more beautiful in your side mirror? Why don't you try it some time. While driving to work, driving to your destination, look into your side mirror and look at the sky. Its so much bluer, so much nicer, so much more beautiful.

You will find yourself surprised and try to look at the sky with your own eyes. Disappointingly, you will find that the reflection you see in the mirror is not as it is in real life. I guess what Im trying to say is, sometimes we think that the life we have lead is peaches and oranges. That what we have done is all good. But in reality, it isn't as perfect as we thought it was. Flaws are everywhere and the only way we'll be able to see it is to face reality even though it might be disappointing.

Some people think that my life is all smiles and all laughter. I know I try to project that sometimes. Mainly because I don't want to influence a situation with the emotions Im experiencing at a particular moment. Why ruin someone's happy day with your whining and a face that is equivalent with a dry prune?

But a reminder to all. Everyone is human. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes that's how Allah makes us learn. I am no exception.

So I apologise to those I might have hurt in the past. People change as time goes by. During that time, I might have just been naive and ignorant of how to handle my emotions. People and animals have one thing in common that I fear; we are all unpredictable.

My advice to all: Be careful on how you tread on life. We only live once. Make sure you use every potential, every sacrifice to make good in the world. For making a difference that brings good will not only benefit the ummah as a whole, but also your own self. Make sure the sacrifices you make will be counted by Allah on the day of Judgement.

Don't do silly things that you will regret in the end.

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