I know myself for being someone who is bad at accepting defeat. Im terrible at it. And I take such a long time to recover from it. So after receiving such a heartbreaking email today, it confirmed a few things that have been my fears for such a long time. Im not worth it. I dont deserve it.
I came home today from a programme feeling so rejuvenated, full of enthusiasm. But such sad news brought me right back down, After trying so hard to get my confidence back, it comes crumbling back down.
I dont know what else to ask from you Ya Allah. Maybe all this is my fault. I know it is. Please forgive me for all my short comings. Its because of who I am and what I have done in the past that has me feeling so humbled this night.
Im praying it rains the whole week, so that people wont notice when I cry in the rain.
So please everyone, let me be for a while. I need space to try to recover from this. Dont ask questions, dont try to include me in a conversation, because I dont think I'll a very good listener when Im suffering inside.
I might be absent for a while. So please dont expect any posts for some time.
Ya Allah, help me go thru this. Please.
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