Sunday, April 24, 2011

I need time. Please give it to me

You cant blame me for crying. You cant blame me for being sad and heartbroken. No matter how strong people think I am, Im not.

I know myself for being someone who is bad at accepting defeat. Im terrible at it. And I take such a long time to recover from it. So after receiving such a heartbreaking email today, it confirmed a few things that have been my fears for such a long time. Im not worth it. I dont deserve it.

I came home today from a programme feeling so rejuvenated, full of enthusiasm. But such sad news brought me right back down, After trying so hard to get my confidence back, it comes crumbling back down.

I dont know what else to ask from you Ya Allah. Maybe all this is my fault. I know it is. Please forgive me for all my short comings. Its because of who I am and what I have done in the past that has me feeling so humbled this night.

Im praying it rains the whole week, so that people wont notice when I cry in the rain.

So please everyone, let me be for a while. I need space to try to recover from this. Dont ask questions, dont try to include me in a conversation, because I dont think I'll a very good listener when Im suffering inside.

I might be absent for a while. So please dont expect any posts for some time.

Ya Allah, help me go thru this. Please.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Did you like that post? Please share your thoughts