Assalamualaikum WRT WBT
Today was one of the worst experience in teaching I have ever faced. Today, my patience was tested again. But today, I lost the battle.
This week is the last week of teaching. That is for us, the 'teaching assistants'. There are only 2 more weeks of classes, but we have to stop this week due to some payment issues (I wont talk about that). So the other 2 weeks, the students are supposed to concentrate on their assignments and one week of study week.
Ive always told you that I have three classes to teach. One on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Im writing this post because of the events that happened in the Tuesday class.
Oh my God! I am so angry! And pissed off and heartbroken! This post is a venting session, personally for me so that I can get it out of my system. So please bare with me.
This Tuesday class has always been a problem. Since the very beginning. Never taking things seriously, never wanting to cooperate. Ive had to tahan sabar so many times. But I was able to get thru it. Today was a whole different story.
I was so happy to enter this last class for this semester. So being the person I am, I bought a Good Luck cake just to make the students a little motivated and a little happy before their tough final exams. It wasnt that expensive, but its the thought that counts.
So I went into class with no plan to teach, I just wanted to give them the cake, ask them about their preparations for exams and give out a few pointers. Other than that, I selit2kan a few nasihat sini sana.
Everyone was happy and laughing. Joking around, asking questions. Except for this one kid.
Arghh! Just thinking about it makes me want to scream my head off!
I was talking, addressing the whole class. Want to know what he did? He pasang lagu kuat2. I stopped a bit, and asked him to slow it down for a while. So he did.
Then a student asked some questions, yada yada yada. As I was answering, do you know what he did? He increased the volume of the song! YaAllah, org lain semua tengah dengar what I was saying, yang die ni pegi pasang lagu kuat2 even AFTER I asked him to slow it down NICELY. Twice!
YaAllah.. I was speechless! What kind of person is this? It was only 2 more minutes before I went out of the class. Including that time, it was the 3rd time he did that. IF he didnt want to listen to me talking, all he needed to do was get out of the class!
So when that happened, I stopped and looked at him with astonishment on my face. I couldnt believe what was happening. First came astonishment, then came hurt, then came anger. The rest of the class watched on.
And as I was reminded of all the times he was rude to me, my anger increased. So I shouted. The first time ever in class. You cant imagine the anger and hurt I felt. The only thing I was trying to do was help these kids. Help them learn, and pass their exams. But not one ounce of gratitude came from this particular kid.
IF he didnt want to learn, IF he didnt want to listen to me, then just get out of my CLASS! Argh!! I was so angry. I think my exact words were"
"Kalau taknak dengar akak cakap, get out of this class! NOW!"
Everyone in class went silent.
I was too angry by then. Those who know me will know what happened next. When Im too angry, and I shout. I always cry afterwards. I just cant contain my tears of anger. So rather than embarrass myself in front of the class, I went out.
But seriously, I was so angry. The least he could have done was sit at the back and browse the internet. Ni tak, kacau everyone else who wanted to learn. That was why I was so angry. If he wanted to fail this class, itu die punye pasal la. But no, he WANTS people to know he is protesting. He WANTS people to know that he is rebelling.
He has this attitude which needs to be broken. An egoistic attitude which will always bring him down no matter what he tries to do in life. Mark my words, he wont go anywhere acting all egoistic and rebellious like that.
So now these kids (I call them kids bcos if I call them adults -- which they should be -- it will make this seem so immature) are trying to gain my forgiveness. You can see it in my FB page. I dont mind the rest. They're good kids. Although some of them are naughty, they are not rude. So I have nothing against them. Some of them are just angels. I wish them the best of luck and pray for their success on earth and in their afterlife.
BUT this particular kid.. urgh! He's in danger of me not forgiving him.